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December 17, 2011

Healing from foot surgery is taking longer than I thought it would. Longer than I had decided it was going to.

It also hurt more than I had decided it was going to.

I’ve watched a lot more Food Network than I thought I would. I’ve been a lot more limited than I had anticipated. I don’t like it. But what choice do I have? I have to let it heal. I have to follow instructions.

I have learned some things, of course.

I learned that given the choice between doing laundry and wearing dirty clothes, my kids will wear dirty clothes. I also learned that I can yell long and loud enough to make them do laundry.

I learned that exercise is now a habit for me. And I miss it. Terribly. People talk about going to the gym and running and training and I feel a pang of jealousy I never expected to feel.

I learned that I have a serious boot and shoe festish and I really have a thing about buying and wearing boots and shoes and when I can’t, or shouldn’t…well…I don’t like it. This surgical shoe is…not fashion forward. (OK, I knew about the shoe thing. The boots were more of a surprise.)

I learned that if you try to be something long enough, eventually you just might become it. I have always wanted to be active and healthy, just had some fears to overcome apparently. But the last few days, several people have made comments about being sorry about my foot because they know how hard it must be, they know I must be frustrated, not being able to be active… I never thought people would think that about me. But some do, apparently. And I love it!

I learned that no one says anything to you about wearing a pink converse sneaker on one foot and a pink fuzzy sock and surgical shoe on the other when you’re healing and have complications. Normally, tennis shoes and fuzzy pink socks are verboten. Like, big time.

I learned that sleeping with your foot propped up will seriously mess up your covers.

I learned that life is hard when you can’t do everything you want or need to do. I learned that it’s almost impossible to keep a foot dry in the shower. I learned that if you don’t shave your legs for 3-4 weeks you eventually stop caring.

(Though I’m probably the only one who has stopped caring.)

I learned that toes without polish are not as cute as one might hope. I learned that there are a LOT of episodes of Big Bang Theory. Poor Leonard.

I learned that things don’t always go according to plan. That I don’t get to be in charge sometimes. That I do have to take care of myself. That pain medications really interfere with my ability to concentrate. That Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives is a great show, and that a person should not let a lump on her foot get to be the size of an egg before she seeks medical attention.

Important lessons, yes. But a tough way to learn them.

What’s a tough lesson you’ve had to learn?

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