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Crash

June 25, 2011

I dreamt I was in a parking deck,

for the second time in as many months,

only this time instead of walking with my (long dead) dog

and an unknown little girl with one shoe

I was driving my car

crashing into other cars, and

running over the tiny ones,

sometimes getting out and walking around and climbing over stuff

in my cute wedge heels

and then back in the car for more crashing,

then abandoning my car so no one would know it was me,

 until I realized

“dude, you can’t just do that!” and I panicked

and I woke up

sweating and breathing hard and wondering

how in the world

I was going to get out of this mess –

knowing that my tags and my VIN and my paint color could be traced

and I would be found

and jailed and

and as I talked myself down

from the edge of sleep and dreaming and anxiety

I realized it was ok, I would never do that,

would never destroy property

that belonged to someone else,

would never not take responsibility for what I had done,

what I had interfered with, stolen from someone else.

And so my breathing slowed and my heart rate

returned to normal and I eventually

kind of

went back to sleep

and I wonder

what Dr. Freud

would have to say about all that.

 

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