In dreams, pictures of a life I never had
a movie I never made
a script I didn’t write,
characters I don’t know, couldn’t have invited;
costumes I never would have chosen;
a plot too twisted for my sleepy brain to follow,
the score so beautiful, so haunting it stayed with me all day – but so complicated I could never describe it adequately.
This dream, this dream of something
foreign and strange and far away
from what I ever imagined I wanted in any incarnation of my life
got me thinking –
does it scare me, or entice me?
Do I want it or fear it?
Will it inspire me to try something, some small and insignificant something new,
or will it send me running, desperate and panting,
for the familiar,
the thing I’m supposed to want?