December 9 – Party Prompt: Party. What social gathering rocked your socks off in 2010? Describe the people, music, food, drink, clothes, shenanigans. (Author: Shauna Reid)
I only know one way to party – BIG. I like to cook a lot, eat a lot, drink a lot – party hearty. My friend Lee Anne is pretty sure I get it from my mom, who also does it all BIG. Elvis-style, Lee Anne says. That’s what we do. So when I go to a party, that is kind of what I like to see! I feel all warm and wistful for the parties I used to throw before we had kids, ones that often ended with me smoking other people’s cigarettes on the front porch of my apartment, thanking the gods that my boss had decided NOT to show up for this one and my severe drunkenness wouldn’t be his main topic of discussion at our next supervision meeting!
So when I landed at my friend Krissy’s party in February, aptly named “Snowsicle,” I felt right at home. We were all dressed up – I was rocking my LBD and some supercute heels, Jeff and Jay wore suits, some of the women had on evening gowns and I THINK there was even a tiara in the house. Which maybe I wore. And maybe I also made myself one out of star garland. But I can’t be sure. You know how things go.
Krissy is a hostess with the mostest – she had a photo wall and empty frames for posing and all the food and alcohol and fun people and beer pong a person needed to chase away the mid-winter blues. It was a fabulous party. Now. I can NOT disclose all the shenanigans due to the non-disclosure agreement I signed but SUFFICE IT TO SAY it was awesome (ice boobies, I’m looking at you).
And after it was over, Jeff drove me back to my parents’ house and they had LOCKED ME OUT and gone to bed and I had to call them to let me in.
People. I am THIRTY EIGHT.
And I went to a party with BEER PONG and ICE BOOBIES and my MOM had to get up and let me in the house. Now THAT is a party.
Topped only by Poppy’s going away party (that’s Jeff to you honey!) where there was a bonfire, a slideshow of embarassing pictures and, AND an honest to God BUTTER LAMB.*
And would you like to know how those three things are related?
Someone took an EMBARASSING PICTURE as we threw the BUTTER LAMB into the BONFIRE because, well, what the hell else do you do with a butter lamb when it’s not Easter? (Also, HAVE THE LAMBS STOPPED SCREAMING, CLARICE?)
It was awesome.
*A butter lamb is exactly what you think. It is a lamb made out of butter, and a lot of people from Western NY have them on their Easter tables.Krissy went to a lot of trouble to have a butter lamb at Jeff’s going away party as a gag, because they are both from WNY and they get that it’s a THING and us Southerners have no damn idea. But really, once we all kinda laughed, what are you supposed to do with it?