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November 17, 2010

Day 1 of Thirty Days of Truth – Something you hate about yourself

I hate how much I think about things. I think from every possible angle. I put myself in the shoes of everyone who could possibly be affected by a situation. I empathize, sympathize, co-dependentize.  I worry about people’s feelings, worst case scenarios, community perception…I way overthink things. I dramatize. I drive myself and the people around me crazy. Sometimes it spins me into inaction. Sometimes I end up in a spiral of “if only” and “what if” and “people could die!” type thing that I can’t see my way out and I wonder where I even started.

I am in therapy, hopefully learning how to stop doing this. I know it’s a combination of several issues – boundary problems, anxiety and perfectionist stuff.  Sometimes you have to just let go, leap, and trust that it will be ok. Sometimes you have to stop thinking so hard and just do. Sometimes you have to fight, so hard, against your instincts to be able keep moving forward.

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